Pray for me...

Tonight is Rosh Hashana, the first eve of the Jewish New Year. The way it works is that between now and the close of the High Holy days, marked by Yom Kippur next week, it is a time for reflection of one's actions over the past year. I'm also told God is deciding between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur who and who will not be written into the Book of Life for the 2006-07 season. That's a lot of pressure, huh? You Christians have it way easier (except for the potental burning in hell part) because at least for now the worst that can happen is you find yourself on Santa's Naughty List and don't get any presents. (That's not even a huge deal really. You can go buy yourself your own presents if that happens! What do you need Santa for now anyway? You can be as naughty as naughty can be all the year long if you'd like and still be in Paris for New Year's Eve!) But us Jews can be wiped off the face of the earth in a flash if we can't get our name in this book. And what if the name isn't correct? For example, my legal first name is "Jennifer" but my mom decided when I was one years old to change it to "Alexandra." What if God is using an outdated version and I'm plucked out of existence because of a poopy technical error? Anyway, pray for us Jews. This is a very, very precarious time for us!

In all seriousness, I'm not religious but I do love Shabbat and I do love the Jewish New Year for what it asks of us as human beings, to pause and reflect on how we have conducted ourselves this past year for better and worse. This past year was filled with so much personal sadness and a fair dose of regrets to go along with it. I don't think I gave my best this past year on multiple levels, if I am really honest with myself. I know I could have done much, much better. I don't say that to beat myself up. Its just the truth. *sigh* But thats what I love about being human, that each day is a new day full of new beginnings if we can embrace them, or as Moominpappa says, "A new day when anything may happen....IF you have no objection to it!" We can all benefit from taking time off to delve inwards and be honest about how we can be more present and kind in our various roles as friends, partners, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, colleagues, etc.

On a separate note, did anyone see the season premiere of The Office last night??? I think that was my favorite episode yet!

Tagged!

The last few days I have been working on two separate projects! One is a return to an essay on a more serious minded non-fiction book and to balance that out a very short story about zombies with flattulence. I know, you're wondering, Why didn't I think of that???" Its part of a very special project, a very especially ridiculous project that is!. a tiny book of incredibly lame, insane, and ridiculous, itty bitty stories I am writing as holiday gifts for my dear friend, Winnipeg Boogershack, and my brother, David. Its working title is "Zombies That Go Poot in the Night." Are you still reading or did I just lose you? (Please note that "poot" is my mom's preferred word for "passing gas." Whenever we would use slang or curse words growing up, she would say, "There are so many words in the English dictionary that you don't have to use those!" Banned words, aside from the obvious ones, were "fart" which she replaced with "poot," "bummer" which she replaced with "Darn!" and "That stinks!" instead of "That sucks!")

I was re-inspired after I received the Pulitzer Prize for my Sunday Scribblings story about a very mysterious pair of stilettoes. Seriously, I'm having a great deal of fun with it! I also am working on a complimentary piece about a bundle of tiny villagers that have taken refuge inside the left buttock of an unsuspecting human! Without further ado, here is a tag! I love tags, but especially those about books! Feel free to tag yourself, and if you do, let me know!

1. One book that changed your life:
SARK's books. I don't think that I ever knew someone before reading her books who embraced herself with such depth and breadth.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once:
Coraline by Neil Gaiman- So, so good!

3. One book you’d want on a desert island:
One book? Really? I can't choose just one. How about five? I choose The Master and Margarita by Bulgakov, His Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman, the Faeries of Dreamdark series by Laini Ladytwinkie Taylor, Living, Loving, & Learning by Leo Buscaglia, and An Interrupted Life: The Diaries of Etty Hillesum 1941-43.

4.. One book that made you laugh:
Bunnicula, about a vampire bunny rabbit who sucks the juice out of vegetables.

5. One book that made you cry:
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
This is one of the few books I have read that actually brought tears to my eyes. It was just so, so moving.

6. One book that you wish you had written:
His Dark Materials series!

7. One book that you wish had never been written:
All books that promote hatred, racism, or tribal religious ideologies!

8. Two books you’re currently reading:
The Remedy by Michelle Lovric, Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Actually, three! I am also finishing up a sweet, Slavic story called The Old Country about a little girl who looks a bit too long into a fox's eyes and trades places with it!

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read:
A Certain Slant of Light by ?, March by Geraldine Brooks, and Caramelo by Sandra Cisneros

SunDay ScRibbLings ToPic of the Week: GooGLe

If you are ever walking about and you see a log cabin with chicken legs running towards you, scram as fast as you can! Its likely Baba Yaga, who depending on whom you ask, is either a witch who gobbles up snacky children like Fritos, or simply a terribly misunderstood crone who is a lonely, ol' crabby granny. When I was a teacher in Bulgaria, my students used to call me Baba Yaga if I gave them too much homework. I knew she was sortof a Slavic version of our own Wicked Witch of the West, but I didn't know much beyond that so I googled her today and learned some important hobbies of hers. For one, she likes to have dinner guests and invite them to sit on giant spatulas masquerading as chairs. Then!, once they are comfortably seated, she very speedily deposits them into the oven and locks the hatch. I've always said its important to clarify when you are invited to someone's home if you are coming for diinner or as dinner. The one time I forgot to ask, like recently when I was at Laini and Jim's, it made for a very sticky situation as I had to claw myself out of the shepherd's pie in the microwave.

Baba Yaga has a silver birch broom she frequently uses for travel, but shes also been known to swoosh across the night sky in a flying iron kettle. Her chicken-legged hut is guarded by evil geese swans, and the door to her home only reveals itself when it hears a secret phrase. (I believe that phrase is "I want my babybackbabybackbabyback ribs...Chili's babyback ribs...") Another interesting Baba Yaga factoid I learned is that she ages one year each time she is asked a question, and she can only grow younger again by drinking tea made with blue roses. Her teeth are made of iron and she loves Taco Bell, mocha frappachinos, and Skinny Cow mint ice-cream sandwiches. I may have misread that last detail but I don't think so! The fence around her home in the forest is made entirely out of of human bones with skulls perched on top that serve as watchful eyes. Actually, this is giving me a lot of neat decorating ideas since I decided not to move afterall.

HoLLyHocKy SatUrdAy

I love roses, and I just spent much of my morning earlier in the week at Portland's incredibly beautiful rose test garden, but when I read that roses are the favorite flower of 85 percent of all Americans, that surprises me. I can't help but wonder is that just because this is the flower that somehow gets the most exposure, particularly on Valentines Day, funerals, and weddings? Would people still pick the rose if it stood before them on a long banquet table filled with hollyhocks and dahlias, snapdragons and sunflowers as big as your head? Anyway, its on my mind as I am having some landscaping done and as soon as I was asked about planting roses, my immediate thought was why? when there are soooo many, many other choices!

Anyway, I'm in the process of selling my house, and it looks so sweet and cute I don't want to sell it... oh, but I do, because while I love it and haven't been in it long, for a couple important reasons it simply doesn't feel like home, and it feels right to be moving on. Besides, the cutest thing about the house is me and I am taking me with me. I'm joking but! that does remind me about when I was going through a break-up years ago and I was feeling melancholy and lonely as tree branches poked the train I was traveling in, and I remember clearly thinking, "But I still have me! And this is a wonderful, wonderful thing!" Isn't it funny how we overlook our own selves as companions and friends? I've always been good about buying myself fresh flowers and treats I enjoy like handmade soaps and my latest mini addiction-collection which is cool old hanging or standing lanterns, and I wish for everyone to do the same. I mean, not buy lanterns but to treat you with treats! I command my six readers of this blog to never again be stingy with yourself! Thats a direct order so you must obey.

On another note, I've mentioned before that I served as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Bulgaria from 98-00. I quickly became dear friends with a leggy, foul-mouthed blondie from the Midwest named Heather who liked to draw portraits of her fellow Volunteers instead of pay attention in our four hour a day all summer long Bulgarian language classes. You can probably surmise by now that I am an astonishingly diligent, achingly brilliant student and so you can only imagine how hard it was for me to be stuffed in a classroom with Heather, pronounced "Heter" in Bulgarian. Well, now Heter has her own blog and would love comments! She has a very important post up today about the importance of having an arch nemesis. Forget about mentors and role models.

A not very exciting weekend-packing and rummaging, and maybe an Arrested Development Season 3 TVathon with my dear friend, Winnipeg Boogershack! I've also been working on my first ever painting-collage and the more ridiculous it gets, the more I am certain I am giving it away as a holiday present to my best friend. I had a nice little laugh yesterday when wonderful Kelly, who hasn't actually seen this freaky masterpiece in the flesh, said she might want to do a trade for it sight unseen! Now, if you have seen her work you know it is very, very beautiful, and I could, maybe should have said, "Suuuuuure! Lets do that!" but it would have been like trading a painting for a popsicle stick, and I refrained from the temptation. This isn't to demean my own artistic skills, but lets just say this is one of the most ridiculously goofy canvases I have seen in quite some time. I may share it here for laughs after I tweak and Galkyd it, but in the meantime, I leave you to your imagination!